


A Silly Kadam Cookie Fic

by vcg73



Category: Glee
Genre: :), M/M, because there isn't enough kadam on this site, kadam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 07:52:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vcg73/pseuds/vcg73
Summary: I wrote this during Girl Scout cookie month a few years ago, just for fun.  :)





	A Silly Kadam Cookie Fic

Adam and Kurt had taken to doing their weekly grocery shopping together. It was easier to distribute parcels and packages between two people and they ate together more often than not anyway, so it was nice to have each other on hand to consult with.

Today, however, Adam started acting very strange when they exited the city bus and turned toward their usual market. He stopped walking, looking nervous for some reason, glancing around furtively as if he feared someone was about to jump out and accuse him of a crime.

“Adam?” Kurt said, curiosity and a hint of amusement in his tone. “What are you doing?”

Adam hemmed and hawed, then inspiration seemed to strike and he patted down his pockets, announcing just a bit too happily, “I left my wallet on the dresser in your room again!”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I saw it sitting there and grabbed it for you. Thanks for reminding me!” Kurt said, smiling and digging into his satchel, not noticing the slumped posture his words produced.

As they walked into the store, Adam practically fled past the entryway and into the main section where he hid among the vegetables until an increasingly puzzled Kurt joined him with one of the chain’s small red grocery carts. “Are you all right? You’re acting really weird today.”

Adam had relaxed somewhat and he smiled back. “Fine, just fine. Oh, um, how do you feel about eggplant parmesan for dinner tonight? These look nice and ripe.”

Shaking his head, Kurt allowed himself to be diverted from the topic and set about hefting and squeezing produce to select the best items. The two men wandered the aisles at their leisure, picking up a loaf of bread for each of them, some milk for Adam and coffee flavoring for Kurt, and various other odds and ends.

Kurt smiled to himself over how sweetly domestic their relationship had become, neither one embarrassed anymore to pick up a pack of toilet paper or a stick of deodorant in front of the other. Adam’s peculiar mood seemed to have faded as well. He was once again sunny and chatty, insisting that he tote the heavier of their reusable grocery bags after they had both paid for their selections.

Then they approached the store’s exit sign and Adam got that strange panicky look again, sidling around to stand on Kurt’s left side instead of his right and hunching down as if he was trying to hide behind his boyfriend.

“What the hell are you doing?” Kurt demanded bluntly.

A sigh met the question as Adam admitted. “I don’t want them to see me. I walked by unawares the last time and they pounced. I can’t afford to fall into their clutches again, Kurt. They’re evil.”

“What are you…?”

Then Kurt was interrupted by a question that made his companion whimper softly.

“Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?”

Kurt turned to look and saw a nodding woman who stood behind a table filled with assorted boxes of cookies encouraging two cute little girls, about eight or nine years old wearing decorated sashes and hopeful smiles, to make their sales pitch.

Feeling Adam tug at his bicep in silent protest, Kurt bit his lip and stepped forward. “I haven’t had these since I was a kid. What kind do you have?”

He stood patiently while the smaller of the two Scouts showed off her wares. “I’ll take a box of Thin Mints, please,” he decided, giving her a five dollar bill and waiting while she carefully counted out his change. “Thank you.”

Their attention turned to Adam, whose grip instinctively tightened as he frantically shook his head and all but towed Kurt from the store.

Kurt gave Adam a confused look as they made their way back to the bus stop. “What was all that about back there? They’re not mafia hit-men. They’re just little girls selling cookies! If you don’t want any all you have to do is say no.”

Adam smiled sheepishly, his cheeks blushing red as he shrugged off the comment. “Sorry.”

Suddenly, Kurt remembered Adam’s reluctance to allow him into his apartment over the last few days. There had been a weak excuse about the place being a mess, followed by a claim of fumigating landlords, and then he had supposedly forgotten his roommate’s aunt was staying the weekend. Adam had also borrowed $20 from him last night when they’d been making up their shopping lists.  _And_  Kurt had caught Adam checking out his own reflection several times lately, patting his tummy and suspiciously eying the seat of his jeans.

He stopped walking, the pieces falling into place. “You can’t say no to cute little children in beanies, can you?”

Adam’s blush deepened, giving him away.

“Oh, my God. There weren’t any fumigators or visiting relations, were there? You just didn’t want me to see your stash!”

Adam hung his head.

“How many have you bought?”

He shrugged, then admitted, “I don’t even know. I discovered something of an addiction after I ate the first half dozen.”

“Cookies?”

“Boxes.” When Kurt’s eyes widened in alarm, Adam flapped his hands up and protested, “I couldn’t help myself. They’re everywhere right now and they’re so bloody delicious! They go perfectly with a good cup of tea or coffee. Every single variety; even the coconut ones.”

“But you don’t like coconut.”

“I know!” he bellowed in a tone of revelation, wild eyed with dismay. “They’re evil, I tell you.”

Kurt could no longer hold in it. He started laughing, wheezing and tearing and leaning on Adam for support as he clutched his midsection and guffawed.

“It’s not funny,” Adam said. For a moment he pouted, but soon he was laughing in sympathy with his snickering boyfriend. “All right, maybe it is a bit.”

“Oh, Adam,” Kurt said, wiping his eyes and still giggling as he reached up to kiss Adam’s cheek. “What am I gonna do with you?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted with a smile. “Hopefully take a few boxes of those ruddy things off my hands before I snack myself into a diabetic coma.”

Kurt kissed him again, on the lips this time. “Why don’t we start by having you pick out two boxes of your favorite. That’s reasonable and I would never be mean enough to make you go cold turkey. We can donate the leftovers to that homeless shelter a couple of blocks from your apartment. I’ll even throw in this box to get you started,” he offered, waving the Thin Mints.

Adam looked at the box sadly. “Are you certain? Those are the best kind of all and you only just paid for them.”

“I’m sure. We’ll just be good boys and eat our veggies and pasta tonight, then tomorrow we can go to your place and clean up.”

“What if I’m tempted again? Those little girls will be on every corner. How can I know they won’t lure me in again?”

Kurt smiled, slipping the arm not encumbered by grocery bags around Adam’s body and giving his butt a caress and a squeeze. “How about for the next two weeks, I’ll be your incentive. You’re an honest guy, so I’ll trust you to tell me the truth about this. Every time you want to buy cookies, think of me and what you might like to do to me, or have me do to you. If you buy more cookies, all clothes stay on. If you stay strong and resist, we can do one fun thing of your choice that night. Whatever you want, within reason.”

Adam’s eyes had gone dark as he thought over the possibilities. “Overcoming one temptation by replacing it with an even greater one. Very clever, Mr. Hummel. And since you’re so generously offering to be my sponsor, I feel that you should be rewarded. Tonight, our choices of activity are all yours.”

Kurt clapped his hands. “Yay! Classic TV sitcom marathon!”

Adam’s face fell. “What?”

For a moment, Kurt held his most innocent look. Then he started laughing again. “Kidding! I want you to fix me a lovely dinner, followed by one of your amazing full body massages and some naked cuddling in my bed while we watch a movie, title to be determined later.” He leaned closer, whispering in Adam’s ear, “Then I want you to kiss me all over my body and make love to me until I can’t remember my own name.”

Adam gulped. “I can do that. You really know how to motivate a person."

“I try,” he said, picking up his other grocery bag and walking away, deliberately putting some extra sway in his hips. “Coming?”

Kurt grinned when he heard Adam mumble, “Very nearly,” and grab his own bags as he jogged to catch up.

Two weeks later, a volunteer at the Girl Scouts of America headquarters opened up a letter from somewhere in New York, thanking the organization for the best cookie drive the writer had ever experienced and suggesting they extend it a week the following year. It was signed ‘Two Very Satisfied Customers'.

The End


End file.
